Family Matters

This love seeks to nourish, protect, strengthen, and guide life’s choices.For most, this love requires nothing in return. However, I believe there is a seed in all of us (parents) that hopes our efforts will yield some semblance of adherence to the values, beliefs, and interests we seek to instill.

We negotiate all day long; if you have young children, it’s every 5-10 minutes. If you think about it, conversations with your partner and colleagues are often negotiations as you tussle between doing one thing versus another. And, if you examine your own thoughts, you’ll quickly realize that much of the chatter in your head is simply a negotiation between two competing sides of your personality: Should I eat this vs. that? Should I do this or that? Should I say X or Y?

I understand Kevin Spacey is controversial - this is not a newsletter about him. However, I recently listened to Spacey’s wide-ranging (and perhaps controversial) interview with Lex Friedman. In that discussion, Spacey talks about the power of playing a character

H3 is elemental. While not a part of the periodic table, H3 is essential to building multi-generational businesses and transitioning generational wealth. H3 is shorthand for what you can offer a loved one when they are upset: Would you like to be helped, heard, or hugged?

There are three distinct ideas in this quote we need to unpack: 1) hinting versus declaring; 2) recognizing a hint; and 3) not allowing our emotions to color someone else's hypothetical hint.

While most of my projects start as succession planning, establishing governance, or family alignment, all of them have seeds of human complexity. Specifically, those things said that continue to linger and those things left unsaid that churn beneath the surface.

I was 24 years old, and it was my first board meeting as a part of our succession planning process. I was meeting with our independent directors, individuals whom I had known for many years, but often interacted with in more casual settings at dinners and events.

If you want respect, be respectable. This was the thought running through my head as I was chatting with an older next gen family member at a conference where I was speaking. He was telling me all about the challenges he was encountering assuming leadership of his family’s company. He

Despite the (un)popular belief, wealth does not change a person, it simply turns up the volume on who they already are. Why does this matter? I had a conversation with several family members who voiced their concern that the wealth they were planning to transfer to their children was going to “ruin them”.

We pulled into the driveway and my kids immediately hopped out of the car. They ran straight for the water, yelling, jumping, and acting as, well, kids. I don’t blame them; we had been in the car for almost six hours.

I was sitting in the American Airlines lounge in Charlotte. I saw him across the room; he was heavy set, had tattoos, a graying beard, and a shaved head. He was out of place in a sea of collared shirts, coiffed hair and roller bags.

I was talking to the CEO of a family enterprise who is incredibly accomplished. He built a highly profitable business, and it was something he was very proud of, as he should be. He spoke of his habit to follow his impulses and his ability to make decisions quickly, both of which had given him an edge. All this was true.